UNDERSTANDING

Understanding our loved ones desire to cross dress or understanding our loved ones desire to have sex reverse surgery (SRS) is a very difficult heartfelt task for family members.

We will look into a depth we never even knew existed to find answers that we desperately need. Many thoughts go through our mind. Emotions go hay wire. This process could feel like a tornado came rushing through our home and leaves us with a disaster that has changed our lives forever. It is my hope to bring understanding to you as you are struggling and in need to understand in this difficult time. Through out the years we have not heard much about these issues. Now the issues of cross dressing and sex change surgery are becoming involved in the politic arena, in our work place, in our children’s elementary and high school’s, in our churches and society. The families enter into a crisis that will have a huge impact on their lives.

Truth can be so hard to come by. We need truth to help us understand the circumstances that we have been brought into. There is much information that can deceiving with the information that can be attained by the internet and other resources. When speaking to someone who has no or little experience or knowledge we allow them to be a hindrance to our confusion and frustration. Trying to put the pieces together all in of itself will cause enough confusion and frustration.

One truth that I had spoken to my dad was in Matthew 10:4-6 In the beginning the creator made male and female. This is a Bible verse that I have through out the years stood strong with. I will continue to stand strong. Knowing this verse had truly helped me growing up knowing that God created us male and female.

In the local newspaper two different articles appeared where personal advice was given. One article was about a man who struggled with sharing with his parents and children that he was going to have SRS. The other article was a mother writing in regards to her teenage son who was shaving his legs. In both of these articles it was suggested through the response that it is no big deal and the family members who were having the struggle with it were the individual’s that needed the counseling and were in need of support groups. There are times when we the family are in need and would benefit from having solid Christian counseling and a support system. Our loved one could benefit and need counseling and support. We should not be condemned by others for our feelings and confusion. Family members are trying their best to deal with the unresolved pain they are experiencing.

We live in a self-centered society. A society that tells us “Do it your way” and “What’s in it for me” attitude. It is easy to allow ourselves to get caught up in this way of thinking. It takes self control in order to not think the way society would like us to.

Times have changed the some of the medical view on sex reverse surgery. In the early 1070’s the practice of sex-change surgery emerged. Before the 1970’s a person who struggled with their born gender would be considered to have psychological problems. Our gender can be altered by our culture and our relationships with people. Today as a society and medical field we tell a man with Gender Identity Disorder that it is normal for him to desire to wear makeup, high heels and clothing that would portray him as he so desires. In our world today the government allows them to legally change their male name for a woman’s name. Some medical insurance’s have gone through and flipped the bill for Sex Reverse Surgery.

Sex Reverse Surgery is accepted without giving those who struggle Gender Identity Disorder and the family members a second thought of the consequences this will have on their lives. Everyone seems be on the band wagon to accept and allow this as normal. There are people who are making the choice for us by suggesting to the men that they were born the wrong sex. In return their families have to deal with the consequences of the choice and encouragement made by others. The voices of those who should truly desire to seek what the root problem is, decide it is their job to interfere and destroy many lives. People are allowing physicians to alter their gender. They allow others to perceive they know what is best.

One of my first memories of my dad struggling was when my dad was admitted into a hospital to treat his cross dressing as a mental emotional disorder. My brother Brad and I sat in the back seat waiting for our mother to return to the car with our dad after he had been released from the mental institution. Brad and I agreed that we were going to try to behave better so we didn’t make dad sick again. At the ages of 5 and 4 we knew something was wrong and we considered we may have caused some of the harm that was making our dad ill. I do consider these issues to be emotional and/or mental. In those days it was seen for what it was and is. Now, year’s later John Hopkins Hospital is realizing this as well.

John Hopkins Hospital is currently reshaping its way of looking at transexuality, following its many years of studies on transexuality. The report is very interesting and informative. You could locate this report on the following link

http://www.firstthings.com/ftissues/ft0411/articles/mchugh.htm

All too often the truth is not being seen or told. The truth is not the pretty picture that seems to be painted by organizations, media and individuals. You do not see the reality of the pain presented in truth. When I was a teenager I watched a talk show. I sat in our living room watching this talk show. The topic was about transsexuals. The glamour side for the men was brought out on this issue. There was applause and support from the hostess and audience. There was a young daughter who was around the age of 9. She was brought out onto the platform to have a seat. The T.V. host first introduced the daughter and started the dialog in regards to her father who was in the transformation of becoming a woman through sex reverse surgery. This daughter was saying how she was happy for him to find him self. I just sat there in our living room crying and angry at the same time. My thoughts were in disbelief that a daughter was o.k. with this and happy with this situation. Sitting through this show I kept waiting for the T.V. host to show another side to it. The show ended with no other side presented. There are many of us that would like to know how the media would respond if it was their loved sharing with them “I desire to wear woman’s underwear”, “I am going to have sex reverse surgery or “I am homosexual”. The response would probably not be as calm and accepting as they are on T.V. When tough and hurtful things don’t touch your family you can have a totally different way of viewing the circumstances. There is real harm done to marriages, children and other family relationships. People are being hurt emotionally and spiritually by their loved ones being deceived. The pain we feel and our loved ones inner pain is real. Don’t let anyone or any group of people make you feel as though what you are feeling is wrong or brought upon yourself because of what you are feeling as well as your decision on how you or your family decides to comprehend and deal with this in your own life.

A song by Casting Crowns titled “What if his people prayed”. This song reminds me of the power we could and do have because of the power of prayer as well as putting our feet forward. An example of this song is giving below.

“What if the armies of the Lord picked up and dusted off the swords. Vow the captives free. And not let Satan have rein. What if the churches take a stand on Gods promise”.

What if the people prayed. If those who bare his name would only seek his face and turn from their own ways. What if the life we pursue came from a hunger from the truth What if his people came to Jesus. What if the people stopped asking Oprah what to do. If my people would call out my name.


God desires for each of us to have healing in our lives. God also desires us to come to him and seek his guidance in our lives. When we don’t talk to him and express our pain or confusion, we are like a child not coming to our parents when we are need of some one to listen, to love us and guide us. As a parent, this would hurt for my children not come to me when they are hurting or if they found themselves in some type of situation that left them with a heavy burden. Our heavenly father desires to hear from us and have a relationship with us. Oprah and all the other talk show hosts are like a band aid on a wound when they give the advice we desire to hear. What happens when the band aid isn’t sticking as well as first had? We start to seek other places again and again to put a new band aid on. God speaks the truth. It may not be the quick fix. But, you can depend on him not giving you a quick fix that will leave you searching again when the show is over.