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Besides the few
hypogonadal/intersexed individuals who are possible candidates for
corrective surgery, I would say the great majority fall into two
distinct categories...(1) those who want SRS to escape from being
labeled a homosexual, and (2) those whose transsexuality springs
from the same soil as transvestism. After all, the erotic desire to
more feminize one's appearance and fashions isn't far removed from
the erotic desire to more completely feminize ones body,
permanently.
A joke commonly heard among transsexuals is, "The transvestite is
one who gets excited when wearing a woman's clothes; while the
transsexual is one who gets excited when wearing the woman's body."
I am firmly convinced that married transsexuals (those who married
as men), who feel they need to change, are suffering from a very
heterosexual and male-like, aggressive or testosterone-laden
phenomenon; they need more and more visual stimulation to attain
their exotic high -- a more sensuous mental movie in which to enact
their wildest fantasies.
Due to the boredom they find in their sexual union with their wives,
due mainly to their over-sensualized, erotic stimulation and sexual
climax from pornography; as well as their overall responsibilities
experienced as husbands, their wives simply don't fulfill their
sexual longing any more.
So, instead of the stressors of marriage and parenting causing them
to seek another partner, as is typical with many non-transsexual
men, they try to turn themselves into another partner; or become
both parties in the relationship, thereby eliminating the need for
the "real-woman." Thus, they attempt to create a new movie to watch,
one in which they are an active participant, and one in which they
now possess the enviable position of the woman/wife, where they can
then play out their newly proscribed gender role, exhibiting the
very qualities they have desired in another woman, which their wife
doesn't seem to have. Many qualities they project, may not even
exist in "normal" people.
So, instead of billing the movie title, "adultery," in which they
know the next wife will only bring the same problems; they create an
elaborate illusion, where they can just keep adjusting their mind to
their own little movie set, with the "actresses", roles, parts, and
scripts fully in-place. Only later do all of these possibilities
become "those same-old-reruns," with the supporting cast being the
only thing that is changed. Then, without their original wife, they
need to do some new scripting; realizing that all of the trouble
wasn't at all about changing sex, but the matter of a misdirected
and insufficient approach at dealing with many developmental and
deeply seated emotional problems in one's own psychology ... and
heterosexuality. Many of these awakened, miserable post-operative
transsexuals then begin looking for ... a wife, saying they are
really now fully re-scripted to fulfill their new role as a lesbian.
My goodness! Things become so complicated, don't they? And to top
that off, they as often insist that their former wife fulfill their
newly contrived "casting call" -- as a lesbian.
Alternatively, some will then try dating men so that their physical
anatomy properly fits; the newly revised script is now redirected to
lead the unsuspecting, naive, and very confused public to draw the
distinction that things are not actually what they may appear to be;
a further sublimation of their heterosexual masculinity.
* Some grow weary of the new script and attempt to change back into
a man.
* Still others experience less than a satisfactory adjustment as a
woman, knowing they would have been better off dealing with their
struggles in other ways.
* Some try substance abuse.
* Some try suicide.
* Some try reconciliation with their former wives.
* All find themselves sooner or later very disenfranchised from
normal society...and very alone.
I am convinced that treatment of heterosexually attracted
transsexuals needs to take into account the following factors:
A) Hormones are very damaging psychologically. They dull the
masculine libido, and therefore sexual conflicts are buried and
become inaccessible to psychotherapy.
B) Hormones for such transsexuals are a psychological death
sentence, which leads to SRS-the physical death sentence; or what
Jerry calls "Physician Assisted Suicide.".
C) Sex therapy is indispensable for these transsexuals. After years
of people saying it's not about sex, it's about gender...I believe
it is terrible to have ignored the erotic/sexual features of
transsexuals. Clinicians who have expertise in psychotherapy, are
often, unfortunately, poorly prepared in sex therapy. One can go
through medical school and a psychiatric residency with no training
in human sexuality! One can go through a Ph.D. in clinical
psychology with only one course in sexual dysfunctions. This is just
terrible; that no one wants to talk about transsexuals'
sex/eroticism and that people don't have training in sex therapy
specifically.
Having said that hormone administration is damaging psychologically
to transsexuals, since it dulls the libido, preventing ready access
to dealing with conflict, I should then say that the whole "theory"
of the "real life test" is a joke, except it's not funny!
People study for tests...people practice for tests...people try to
prepare for tests...people cheat on tests! RLT is a sinister joke.
Men who fit a very small subset of Benjamin's eligible patients,
commonly today labeled, "Intersexed People," can't effectively pass
as men...they don't need a real life test...they are hypogonadal,
talk like girls in voice pitch, don't need to shave, have very
little body hair, reveal high feminine fat distribution, don't
develop properly, appear very feminine, and are typically mistaken
for women. They are a small endocrine minority who are already
prepared for SRS. They usually don't even need hormones, and
definitely don't need facial feminization.
They don't behave as a caricature of women, since they are just
naturally feminine, and sometimes androgynous. They have a distinct
hormonal problem. The other vast majority, who are told they need a
RLT, may spend thousands of hours and even more-thousands of dollars
to pass the real life test; something that is nothing more than a
joke.
If someone is not having a tough time passing in their birth sex and
they have demonstrated measurable success in living in their birth
sex, they should not be treated as otherwise. It should also be
remembered that transsexuals are unreliable historians and are also
known to try to "excuse" or explain their condition by fabricating
unfounded physiological underpinnings; much of their ideas and
theories coming from the international population of equally deluded
peoples; not their own experiences.
The RLT grew out of the Standards of Care, which we know have little
to do with Harry Benjamin. He was a kindly grandfatherly-type of
gentleman and medical practitioner, who tried to help those whose
gender was problematical. But the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care
are not in the least in accord with Harry Benjamin's initial vision.
Harry Benjamin was not directly involved in the founding of even
what are called the original standards of care. It was founded by
other professionals, many with variant sexual orientations, and now
an increasing number of self-serving transsexuals and even
transgendered persons. These self-invested transsexuals, who
proclaim themselves to the the experts among the transsexual
population, presently steer the so-called Harry Benjamin Standards
of Care for Transsexuals. Likewise, they try to influence more
general regulating bodies such as the DSM and the ICD, to have
gender identity disorder removed. I shudder to think of the
unscrupulous professionals, who are gaining in popularity, who don't
even subscribe to these poorly designed and continuously eroding
standards of care. As for the real life test, I know of professional
actors who could easily pass the test. Well, that's the making of
another movie.
Best Regards,
Mark |
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