My Second Blue Jean Jacket

By Danny Blackwell

It was a gift from my wife, this second blue jean jacket, and the first one was a gift from my older brother when I was seven. A lot of things happened between these two gifts; things good and bad, things that added to me and things that took away from me. I don’t remember what happened between these two gifts; things good and bad, things that added to me and things that took away from me. I don’t remember what became of the first jacket wall I remember is the pleasure of having and wearing it. Struggling with gender identity tends to fill us with mixed messages and confusing memories also.

The second jacket didn’t ignite the same type of joy but it stirred up the coals of smoldering masculinity and fanned the flames of what God wants to restore. Between these two gifts I have tried to fit into clothes and roles not of my gender design. So I’m left with a dilemma, do I continue in futile attempts to block pain and escape being male or do I embrace the Master Tailor’s call to put on restored masculinity. The Lord used that jacket to help me to see that being male is not ugly, dirty, or something I can put on and off but God’s gift and it is for me. Funny, the jacket felt big and stiff with many empty pockets but the Lord, as the Master Tailor says gently, “I am with you and you are not alone”.

Healing unfortunately is not as easy as putting on a jacket but one of God’s greatest gifts is our gender identity and rather than continuing to discard it, we must embrace what God is able to restore.

Sure I lost the first jacket but it was restored to me in love from my wife. So also God calls us to willingly face our losses and allow him to clothe us again with his great gift, restored gender identity.

Fortunately we are not called to accomplish this task on our own for he uses His word, people, and counseling.

The Lord as the Master Tailor guarantees His work and He never fails. As it took time to make and like the jacket; so change in us will take time but by getting closer to the Lord, we are restored and healed.