things in common among transsexuals

by Jay

Out of a sampling of 80 personal interviews with full-time pre and post-operative transgendered males, the things held in common by them are:
 

* A distant or absent father-figure while growing up
* A very involved mother
* Perfectionistic tendencies that obstruct inner peace
* An inner sense that his masculinity does not match that found in others.
* Private, self-conscious and self-isolated
* Considered a loner
* A real or perceived verbally abusive father-figure
* Questions regarding their real sexual orientation
* Feelings of gender/sexual in congruency prior to the age of 5 years
* Cross-dressed regularly before age 5
* More interested in girl's play up to the age of 10.
* Deeply conflicted by shameful self-accusations
* Steady discomfort for gender expectations imposed by others
* Have attempted to hide transgender feelings by hypermasculine activity
* Feel inferior to other men as a male
* Regularly experienced humiliation in playing sports
* Sense a more enlightened understanding of women than average or normal men
* Confused by abiding desires to relate mainly with women before and after surgery
* Experienced as a youth euphoric and sexual stimulation when cross-dressed
* Sexual excitement when cross-dressed dwindled after the age of 25
* Family refused to talk about obvious signs of transgender activity
* Entered the Military in order to "become a man."
* Felt that Marriage would eliminate or take significant care of the transgender feelings
* Macho type hobbies and behaviors have been used to hide feminine desires
* Have reasoned that having children would help eliminate feminine desires
* Have found that religious fervor/evangelicalism to not significantly change feelings
* Seriously considered or acted out suicidal attempts
* Homophobic: fears that he is really a latent homosexual
* Married a Christian woman
* Attempted some form of spiritual exorcism to get rid of perverse demons
* Have nearly despaired of God really having the ability to change this condition
* Has experienced a sense of failure at his professional career
* Came "out of the closet" and began hormones and preparation for SRS after 45
* Sensed that he was not really wanted, or extremely ill-timed when born
* Sister or girls attracted more attention from Father than he did
* Has previously been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
* Is presently on a psychiatric medication for a nervous disorder
* Struggles with bouts of depression and anxiety
* Is not convinced that God truly loves him
* Angry at God for allowing transgendered feelings to be a part of life
* Felt separated from one or both parents
* Experienced childhood sexual abuse/experimentation by an older male
* Suffers from problems related to addictions
* Has found Christianity ineffective in changing transgender feelings
* Difficulty talking to God when alone
* Generalized distrust in men
* Uncomfortable with and among heterosexual men
* Has great difficulty in finding and keeping a close male friendship
* Difficult to stand up for himself or his convictions, even when he is right
* Very uncomfortable in direct confrontational settings
* Passive
* Avoids conflict at all costs
* Masturbation was an associated problem with cross-dressing in teen age years
* Seeks leadership positions to gain people's respect
* Generally very poor self-image
* Harbors a sense of self-hatred as a male
* Notices a change in self-view and a freedom in relating more openly in social interactions when cross-dressed.
* An abiding sense of guilt and fear in being exposed and publicly humiliated
* Has never experienced lasting freedom from transgender issues
* Thinks negatively about his gender at least once a day
* Believes that women have a better and happier life
* Desires to receive the non-sexual love, acceptance, esteem of another male
* Admits that deep inside himself that his transsexual feelings are not biologically caused
* Has at least fantasized about having sex with a man while in the female role
* At whatever age ... would prefer to be a female